"The cracks start to occur in our armour when we shed the things we don’t need. That’s how the light gets out—through the cracks."

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Sarah George

For years, I thought I had to be on the other side of my transformation to talk about it. You know, that polished “before-and-after” story with a bow on top? But here’s the truth: I’m not at the finish line. I’m somewhere in the middle. And honestly? Healing doesn’t wait for you to look camera-ready. And transformation doesn’t begin at the end.

A few years ago, I spiraled deep into personal development. I’m talking buy-every-self-help-book, weekly therapy, kinesiology, somatic sessions, inner child work, breathwork, coaching, mentors, podcasts — the full buffet. And somewhere between crying on the floor during breathwork and journaling my arguments with my inner critic, something clicked.

My issues with food weren’t about willpower. Or discipline. They were about pain. Protection.

So I’m sharing my story not because it’s over—but because I know I’m not the only one in the thick of it. And I truly believe that when we speak our truth, it starts to lose its power over us.

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The Mask of Strength

Growing up, people thought I was tough. I had a confident, maybe even a slightly irritated exterior. But that wasn’t strength—it was protection. I was deeply sensitive and didn’t know how to express it. So people didn’t see that side of me. I was misunderstood. And that made me an easy target.

At home, I was bullied by my sisters. At church, it was the Sunday school kids. At school, my classmates. I didn’t feel safe—not even in my own body.

Coming from an Egyptian household, emotions weren’t encouraged. You didn’t talk about your feelings. You stayed strong. You held it in. That’s just how it was.

My parents loved us deeply, and they did the best they could. But discipline was sometimes physical. And very early on, I learned: the world—and my own skin—didn’t always feel like a safe place to be.

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When Food Becomes a Friend

I didn’t release emotions. I stored them. And I turned to food. Because in our home, food meant love. It was connection, forgiveness, comfort. After an argument? No apology. Just your favorite plate of food sliding across the table.

And food never judged me. Never teased me. Never told me I was too much. It became my reward, my comfort, my safe space.

By 15, I was morbidly obese. By 18, I had enough. I went on my first diet, hired a personal trainer, and lost 30 kilos in just three months. But instead of freedom, a new kind of fear crept in. The fear of gaining it back.

Every bite became a battlefield. Every meal, a mental negotiation. The cycle became: guilt. Control. Shame. Repeat.

I hadn’t healed. I’d just swapped bingeing for obsessing. I tried diet pills, detoxes, laxatives (pro tip: just don’t). I even had a gastric balloon inserted. I didn’t tell anyone—because deep down, I felt like I was cheating. Like I wasn’t doing it “the right way.”

And yes, some of those things worked. But only temporarily. Because the weight always came back.

Why? Because I hadn’t dealt with what was underneath.

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It Was Never About the Food

It took years of deep work to finally see it: food wasn’t the problem. It was the symbol.

It represented safety. Control. Emotional regulation for feelings I never learned to process.

And here’s the hardest part about healing a food addiction: you can’t quit food. If your issue is alcohol or drugs, you can eliminate the substance. With food? You need it to survive. You can’t avoid it. You have to learn to face it—with compassion.

And that’s what I’ve been doing. Bit by bit, breath by breath.

I’ve started to feel different. Stronger. More grounded. More ready.

If you’re anything like me, maybe you’re tired of taking “before” shots too. I’ve taken so many. I’ve told myself “this is the last time” so many times. But this time, I truly believe it.

This is the last “before” shot I’m taking.

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Choosing a New Path

I finally sought expert advice—not someone promising magic or gimmicks, but someone who saw me. And yes, he told me the usual things: what to eat, how to train, how to structure my macros. But the difference?

This time, I was ready.

Not just to hear the advice—but to live it. To act on it. No more waiting for motivation or the perfect mood. Just showing up. Every day.

Because honestly? The information is out there. It’s not hard to find. But what’s harder to access… is the mindset to choose it.

And now? I’ve chosen it.

I’m unlearning old beliefs. Rebuilding from the inside out. Like renovating a house from the foundation up—it’ll take as long as it takes. But I’m okay with that. Because this time, I’m doing it right.

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This Isn’t About a Stage

Sure, I have a goal: one day, I want to step on stage in a bodybuilding comp. But this isn’t about a trophy.

It’s about becoming the woman I’ve always believed I could be. The one who is proud, peaceful, powerful—in body, mind, and soul.

I’m 36 now. And while this journey is for me, I also know that whatever we don’t transform, we transfer. I’ve watched loved ones undergo even more invasive procedures than I did—and still gain the weight back. Not because they didn’t try. But because no surgery can heal what’s emotional.

Healing creates ripple effects. When you do the work, others feel permission to do the same.

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Let the Light In

I came across a quote recently that said:

> “The cracks start to occur in our armour when we shed the things we don’t need. That’s how the light gets out—through the cracks.”

That landed hard.

Because I’ve been cracking. But maybe the cracks aren’t the problem. Maybe they’re the breakthrough.

So if you’re tired of starting over…

If you’re ready to ditch the “before” shots…

If you want to change more than just your body—

Come with me.

We’re not just changing what we eat or how we move.

We’re changing our story.

With love,
- Sarah ❤️